by Mihály Tóth DCN, lead pastor of the Ecumenical Church, Hungary

Christian teachings on marriage emphasize the importance of commitment, mutual love and respect, and a shared commitment to living a life centered on God. The key principles that are central to Christian understandings of marriage, including the importance of commitment, selfless love, and sexual fidelity. By following the teachings of the Bible and making a covenant of life with their spouse, couples can create a strong, lasting relationship. While the institution of marriage has evolved over time, it has always been seen as a way for individuals to form a lifelong partnership and support each other emotionally, financially, and spiritually. A covenant of life is often seen as a more spiritual or sacred commitment than a legal contract, and it is often considered to be more permanent and enduring. Also, forgiveness is a key Christian value that can play a crucial role in helping married couples to maintain a healthy, fulfilling relationship. It can be particularly important in the context of marriage, as it can help couples to navigate the challenges and conflicts that inevitably arise in any relationship. In times of crisis (normative or any), faith can provide couples with a sense of hope, comfort, and support, helping them to navigate difficult times and come out stronger on the other side.

There can be a connection between governmental solutions and faith-based solutions for supporting healthy marriages and lowering the divorce rate. In some cases, faith-based organizations may be able to work in partnership with government agencies to provide resources and support to couples. For example, faith-based organizations may be able to offer relationship counseling and therapy services to couples, while the government provides funding or other resources to support these efforts.

In other cases, faith-based organizations may be able to provide resources and support that complement or augment government efforts. For example, faith-based organizations may be able to provide couples with access to support groups and community resources that can help them navigate challenges in their relationship.

And that way: Christian values can help save marriages in Europe from high divorce rates

The importance of commitment in marriage:

Christian values emphasize the importance of commitment in marriage, which can help couples stay together even when facing challenges. This can be especially important in the face of high divorce rates, as it can encourage couples to work through their problems instead of giving up on their relationship.

The role of forgiveness in maintaining a healthy marriage:

Forgiveness is a key Christian value that can be particularly important in the context of marriage. When one spouse makes a mistake or causes hurt, forgiveness can help repair the damage and keep the relationship strong.

The value of communication and understanding:

Good communication is essential for any healthy relationship, and Christian values can encourage couples to be open and honest with each other. This can help couples better understand each other’s needs and desires, and can prevent misunderstandings that can lead to problems in the relationship.

The importance of selflessness and sacrifice:

Christian values encourage individuals to put the needs of others before their own, and this can be particularly important in the context of marriage. When one spouse is willing to make sacrifices for the other, it can help strengthen the bond between them and help keep the relationship strong.

The role of faith in times of crisis:

Finally, Christian values can provide couples with a source of strength and support in times of crisis, such as when they are facing challenges in their relationship. This can help couples weather difficult times and come out stronger on the other side.

Introduction – What is marriage?

A legally binding contract

In Europe, marriage is typically defined as a legally recognized union between two people, typically a man and a woman, who are committed to living together and sharing their lives. In most European countries, marriage is governed by civil law, which means that it is regulated by the state rather than by religious institutions.

In order to be legally recognized as a marriage in most European countries, a couple must typically meet certain requirements, such as being at least a certain age (usually 18 or older) and not already being married to someone else. In some cases, couples may also be required to undergo medical examinations or meet other requirements in order to be eligible to marry.

Marriage is typically considered a legally binding contract in Europe, and as such, it carries certain rights and responsibilities for both spouses. For example, married couples typically have the right to inherit from each other, make medical decisions on behalf of their spouse, and claim certain financial benefits, such as tax breaks or survivor benefits.

In recent years, there have been debates in some European countries about expanding the definition of marriage to include same-sex couples. In these cases, the question of what constitutes a marriage is often shaped by changing societal attitudes and values, as well as by legal and political considerations.

A sacred union between a man and a woman

In Christianity, marriage is typically understood as a sacred union between a man and a woman that is intended to be lifelong and exclusive. The concept of marriage is rooted in the teachings of Jesus and is reflected in the letters of Paul, who wrote extensively about the nature of marriage and its importance in the Christian faith.

According to Jesus, marriage is a sacred institution that was instituted by God from the beginning of creation. In the Gospels, Jesus affirmed the importance of marriage and the commitment that it requires, and he also taught that divorce was not part of God’s plan for human relationships.

Paul also wrote extensively about marriage in his letters, and he saw it as a symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church. He taught that marriage was intended to reflect the love and commitment that Christ has for his followers, and that it was a means by which believers could grow in their faith and serve God together.

Overall, Christian teachings on marriage emphasize the importance of commitment, mutual love and respect, and a shared commitment to living a life centered on God.

According to Christian faith, marriage is based on a number of principles and values that are rooted in the teachings of Jesus and the letters of Paul. Here are three quotes from the Bible that highlight some of the key principles that are central to Christian understandings of marriage:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24

This quote from the Old Testament book of Genesis describes the creation of the first marriage and emphasizes the idea that marriage involves a deep bond and union between a man and a woman.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:25

This quote from the letter of Paul to the Ephesians emphasizes the importance of selfless love and sacrifice in marriage. It teaches that a husband should love his wife in the same way that Christ loved the church, by putting her needs before his own and willingly making sacrifices for her.

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” – Hebrews 13:4

This quote from the letter to the Hebrews emphasizes the importance of sexual fidelity in marriage and teaches that God views infidelity as a serious sin. It encourages believers to uphold the sanctity of marriage and to remain faithful to their spouses.

These quotes from the Bible highlight some of the key principles that are central to Christian understandings of marriage, including the importance of commitment, selfless love, and sexual fidelity.

Divorce – a last resort or a trendy solution?

Divorce rates in Europe have varied significantly over the past several decades. In general, divorce rates in Europe have been higher than in many other parts of the world, and have tended to increase over time. However, the rate of increase has slowed in recent years, and some countries have even seen a decline in divorce rates.

In the past decade, divorce rates in Europe have generally remained stable or declined slightly. For example, in the European Union as a whole, the divorce rate has remained relatively stable over the past decade, hovering around 50% over the past few years. In some countries, such as France and Italy, divorce rates have actually declined in recent years.

However, it is important to note that divorce rates can vary significantly from one country to another, and may also be influenced by factors such as changes in laws and social attitudes towards marriage and divorce. Therefore, it is difficult to make generalizations about divorce rates in Europe as a whole.

There is no one specific reason that is most common among all married couples who seek a divorce, as each couple’s situation is unique. However, research has identified a number of common factors that can contribute to the breakdown of a marriage and lead to divorce. Some of the most common reasons cited by couples who seek a divorce include:

• Lack of communication and lack of emotional connection: When couples are unable to effectively communicate with each other or feel a lack of emotional connection, it can create distance and strain on the relationship.

• Infidelity: Infidelity, or one spouse being unfaithful to the other, can be a major source of conflict in a relationship and can lead to the breakdown of trust and the end of the marriage.

• Differences in values and goals: When couples have different values or goals in life, it can create conflict and make it difficult for them to see eye-to-eye on important issues.

• Money problems: Financial issues, such as disagreement over spending and saving, can create significant strain on a marriage and may lead to divorce.

• Lack of commitment: When one or both spouses are not fully committed to the marriage and are not willing to put in the effort to make it work, it can lead to a breakdown of the relationship.

One factor that may affect the length of marriages in Europe is the overall divorce rate in a given country. In countries with high divorce rates, it is likely that many marriages will be shorter in duration, as a higher percentage of couples will choose to divorce rather than remain together. On the other hand, in countries with lower divorce rates, marriages may tend to be longer in duration, as a higher percentage of couples will choose to stay together.

Another factor that may affect the length of marriages in Europe is the age at which people get married. In general, couples who marry at a younger age may be more likely to divorce than those who marry at an older age, as they may have less life experience and may be less prepared for the challenges of marriage.

It is also important to note that the length of marriages can be influenced by a wide range of other factors, including individual personality traits, relationship skills, and the presence or absence of support from family and friends.

Key qualities in a marriage from a Christian perspective

Christianity recognizes a number of key qualities that are important in a healthy, fulfilling marriage. These qualities may include:

• Commitment: Christian teachings emphasize the importance of commitment in marriage, as it is seen as a sacred union that is intended to be lifelong.
• Love and respect: Christianity teaches that love and respect are essential elements of a healthy marriage, and that spouses should show love and respect for one another at all times.
• Communication: Good communication is essential for any healthy relationship, and Christian teachings encourage couples to be open and honest with each other in order to better understand each other’s needs and desires.
• Forgiveness: Forgiveness is an important Christian value that can be particularly important in the context of marriage. When one spouse makes a mistake or causes hurt, forgiveness can help repair the damage and keep the relationship strong.
• Trust: Trust is an essential component of any healthy relationship, and Christian teachings encourage couples to be faithful and trustworthy in their marriages.
• Shared values and goals: When couples share similar values and goals, it can help bring them closer together and create a strong foundation for their relationship.

These are just a few of the many qualities that Christianity recognizes as being important in a healthy, fulfilling marriage. By cultivating these qualities and working to strengthen them in their relationship, couples can create a strong foundation for a lifetime of love and commitment.

Understanding Christian values in marriage

Commitment

Commitment is a central Christian value that is emphasized in teachings about marriage. According to the Bible, marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman that is intended to be lifelong, and commitment is seen as a key component of this union.

One of the earliest references to commitment in marriage can be found in the Old Testament book of Genesis, where it is written: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This passage highlights the idea that marriage involves a deep bond and union between a man and a woman, and that commitment is essential for this union to be successful.

The importance of commitment in marriage is also emphasized in the New Testament. For example, in the letter to the Ephesians, Paul writes: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). This passage teaches that a husband should be willing to make sacrifices for his wife and to put her needs before his own, demonstrating a deep commitment to the relationship.

In addition to emphasizing the importance of commitment in marriage, the Bible also teaches that marriage is intended to be a lifelong union. For example, Jesus himself spoke about the permanence of marriage when he said: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). This passage highlights the idea that marriage is intended to be a permanent union that should not be broken lightly.

The Bible teaches that commitment is a key component of a healthy, fulfilling marriage, and that it is essential for a couple to remain committed to each other in order to create a strong foundation for their relationship. By cultivating a sense of commitment in their marriage, couples can create a lifetime of love and mutual support, and build a relationship that is rooted in the values and teachings of the Christian faith.

Love and respect

Love and respect are central values in Christianity, and they are seen as essential elements of a healthy, fulfilling marriage. The Bible teaches that spouses should show love and respect for one another at all times, and that these qualities are essential for creating a strong, lasting relationship.

One of the most well-known passages in the Bible that speaks to the importance of love and respect in marriage is found in the letter to the Ephesians, where it is written: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). This passage teaches that a husband should love his wife in the same way that Christ loved the church, by putting her needs before his own and willingly making sacrifices for her.

In addition to emphasizing the importance of selfless love in marriage, the Bible also teaches that respect is an essential component of a healthy relationship. For example, in the letter to the Colossians, Paul writes: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18). While this passage has been the subject of much debate and has been interpreted in various ways, it is generally understood to be teaching that wives should show respect for their husbands and submit to their leadership in the home.

The Bible also teaches that love and respect are important not just for the benefit of one’s spouse, but for one’s own well-being as well. For example, in the letter to the Corinthians, Paul writes: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). This passage describes the qualities of love and teaches that love is patient, kind, and selfless, and that it is a force for good in the world.

The Bible teaches that love and respect are essential elements of a healthy, fulfilling marriage, and that spouses should strive to show these qualities towards each other at all times. By cultivating a sense of love and respect in their marriage, couples can create a strong foundation for a lifetime of mutual support and happiness.

Communication

Communication is an essential component of any healthy relationship, and Christian teachings encourage couples to be open and honest with each other in order to better understand each other’s needs and desires. The Bible teaches that good communication is essential for building trust, resolving conflicts, and creating a strong foundation for a lifetime of love and mutual support.

One of the key passages in the Bible that speaks to the importance of communication in marriage is found in the letter to the Colossians, where it is written: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Colossians 3:16). This passage teaches that believers should communicate with each other in a way that is rich in wisdom and understanding, and that they should seek to encourage and support each other through their words and actions.

The importance of good communication in marriage is also emphasized in the letter to the Ephesians, where it is written: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). This passage teaches that couples should be kind and understanding towards each other, and that they should be willing to forgive each other when conflicts arise.

In addition to encouraging open and honest communication, the Bible also teaches that couples should be proactive in seeking to resolve conflicts and build a strong foundation for their relationship. For example, in the letter to the Philippians, Paul writes: “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:14-15). This passage teaches that believers should seek to resolve conflicts and work together towards a common goal, rather than grumbling or disputing.

The Bible teaches that good communication is essential for any healthy relationship, and that couples should strive to be open and honest with each other in order to better understand each other’s needs and desires. By cultivating a culture of communication in their marriage, couples can build trust, resolve conflicts, and create a strong foundation for a lifetime of mutual support and love. By following the teachings of the Bible and seeking to cultivate good communication in their marriage, couples can create a relationship that is rooted in the values and teachings of the Christian faith and that is built to last.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important Christian value that is central to the teachings of Jesus and is emphasized throughout the Bible. In the context of marriage, forgiveness can be particularly important, as it can help to repair the damage that is caused by mistakes and misunderstandings, and keep the relationship strong.

One of the key passages in the Bible that speaks to the importance of forgiveness in marriage is found in the letter to the Ephesians, where it is written: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). This passage teaches that believers should be kind and understanding towards each other, and that they should be willing to forgive each other when conflicts or misunderstandings arise.

The importance of forgiveness in marriage is also emphasized in the parable of the unforgiving servant, which is found in the Gospel of Matthew. In this parable, Jesus teaches that believers should be willing to forgive others, just as they have been forgiven by God. He says: “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:35). This passage teaches that forgiveness is an essential component of a healthy, fulfilling relationship, and that it is important for believers to be willing to forgive others in order to experience the fullness of God’s love.

The Bible also teaches that forgiveness is not just about letting go of anger and resentment, but about actively seeking to repair the damage that has been caused by past mistakes. In the letter to the Colossians, Paul writes: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:12-13). This passage teaches that forgiveness involves actively seeking to rebuild the relationship and restore trust, and that it should be an ongoing process in the context of marriage.

The Bible teaches that forgiveness is an important Christian value that is essential for maintaining a healthy, fulfilling relationship in marriage. When one spouse makes a mistake or causes hurt, forgiveness can help to repair the damage and keep the relationship strong. By following the teachings of the Bible and actively seeking to forgive one another, couples can create a strong foundation for a lifetime of love and mutual support, and build a relationship that is rooted in the values and teachings of the Christian faith.

Trust

Trust is an essential component of any healthy relationship, and Christian teachings encourage couples to be faithful and trustworthy in their marriages. The Bible teaches that trust is essential for building a strong foundation for a lifetime of love and mutual support, and that it is an important component of a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

One of the key passages in the Bible that speaks to the importance of trust in marriage is found in the letter to the Ephesians, where it is written: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:25-27). This passage teaches that a husband should love his wife in a way that is selfless and sacrificial, and that he should seek to build her up and support her in all things. By demonstrating trustworthiness and faithfulness in their marriage, couples can create a strong foundation for a lifetime of love and mutual support.

The importance of trust in marriage is also emphasized in the letter to the Colossians, where it is written: “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19). This passage teaches that a husband should be loving and kind towards his wife, and should not behave in a way that is harsh or uncaring. By demonstrating trustworthiness and faithfulness in their actions, couples can build a strong foundation of trust in their marriage.

In addition to emphasizing the importance of trustworthiness in marriage, the Bible also teaches that couples should be willing to work through conflicts and challenges in order to repair the trust that has been broken. For example, in the letter to the Corinthians, Paul writes: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7). This passage, which is often referred to as the “love chapter” in the Bible, teaches that love is patient, kind, and enduring, and that it is willing to bear with and believe in others even when trust has been broken. By demonstrating this kind of love and compassion towards their spouse, couples can work through conflicts and challenges in their relationship and rebuild the trust that has been broken.

The Bible teaches that trust is an essential component of any healthy relationship, and that couples should strive to be faithful and trustworthy in their marriages. By following the teachings of the Bible and seeking to cultivate trust in their relationship, couples can create a lifetime of love and mutual support and build a relationship that is rooted in the values and teachings of the Christian faith.

Shared values and goals

Sharing similar values and goals can be an important component of a healthy, fulfilling marriage, as it can help bring couples closer together and create a strong foundation for their relationship. The Bible teaches that couples should strive to align their values and goals in order to create a strong, lasting relationship that is rooted in the teachings of the Christian faith.

One of the key passages in the Bible that speaks to the importance of shared values and goals in marriage is found in the letter to the Ephesians, where it is written: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:25-27). This passage teaches that a husband should love his wife in a way that is selfless and sacrificial, and that he should seek to build her up and support her in all things. By aligning their values and goals and working towards common objectives, couples can create a strong foundation for their relationship.

The importance of shared values and goals in marriage is also emphasized in the letter to the Colossians, where it is written: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:18-19). This passage teaches that couples should work together in harmony and submission, with the husband loving and caring for his wife and the wife showing respect and submission to her husband. By aligning their values and goals and working towards common objectives, couples can create a strong, lasting relationship.

In addition to emphasizing the importance of shared values and goals in marriage, the Bible also teaches that couples should be proactive in seeking to understand each other’s needs and desires, and in working towards common objectives. For example, in the letter to the Philippians, Paul writes: “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15). This passage teaches that believers should work together towards common goals, rather than grumbling or disputing, and that they should strive to be blameless and innocent in their actions. By aligning their values and goals and working towards common objectives, couples can create a strong, lasting relationship that is rooted in the values and teachings of the Christian faith.

The Bible teaches that shared values and goals can be an important component of a healthy, fulfilling marriage, and that couples should strive to align their values and goals in order to create a strong foundation for their relationship. By following the teachings of the Bible and seeking to understand and support each other’s needs and desires, couples can create a lifetime of love and mutual support and build a relationship that is rooted in the values and teachings of the Christian faith.

Examples for marriages in the Bible

There are several examples of strong, healthy marriages in the Bible. Some of these include:

Adam and Eve:

Although their marriage had its challenges, Adam and Eve’s relationship is an example of a strong, committed partnership. According to the creation story in the book of Genesis, God created Adam and Eve to be companions and partners, and they were intended to support and care for each other.

Abraham and Sarah:

Abraham and Sarah’s marriage is an example of a relationship that was rooted in faith and trust in God. Despite facing many challenges, including infertility and the temptation to doubt God’s promise of offspring, Abraham and Sarah remained committed to each other and to their shared faith.

Boaz and Ruth:

The marriage of Boaz and Ruth is an example of a relationship that was built on love and mutual respect. In the book of Ruth, Ruth is a widowed foreign woman who marries Boaz, a wealthy landowner, and becomes a central figure in the lineage of Jesus. Their marriage is an example of a relationship that was built on trust and mutual support, and that was rooted in the values of the Christian faith.

Joseph and Mary:

The marriage of Joseph and Mary is an example of a relationship that was marked by faith, trust, and obedience to God. Despite facing many challenges, including the birth of Jesus under difficult circumstances and the threat of persecution, Joseph and Mary remained committed to each other and to their shared faith in God.