This article is written in the spirit of C.S. Lewis’s classic satire The Screwtape Letters, in which a senior demon is giving advice to a junior tempter. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
My dear Wormwood,
I was pleased to hear you’ve been assigned a new charge: a young suburban mother of three who is prone to oversharing on social media and relies on her phone as a tether to the adult world. I hope you’re taking things seriously: mothers are never easy targets. Their maternal instincts are always against us. A mother rising at midnight, 2:00 AM, and 4:00 AM to feed the baby is as odious to me as a monk’s Matins, Lauds, and Prime! Remember that our Enemy has a Mother of whom He is exceedingly fond, and it’s given Him an irrational soft spot for all mothers. Best be on your guard.
I hear that your patient has just experienced a setback in her addiction-cultivation program, and I fear it’s your fault. By making her phone go off during…