In 2006 I wrote an article titled “Not Your Buddy” that has remained my most popular Boundless article to date. The premise of the article is that women are sucked into ambiguous relationships with men that look like dating but are essentially a Christian version of “friends with benefits” (primarily emotional and not sexual, in the cases I observed).
In all the situations I witnessed, the woman hoped the relationship would develop in a romantic direction — and even assumed this — while the man seemed oblivious at best and opportunistic at worse, allowing the relationship to drag on for months or even years. I mean, who wouldn’t love the attention, encouragement and homecooked meals these ladies were lavishing on these fellas? But inevitably, these ambiguous relationships fizzled. In a few cases, a friend bravely confronted the would-be suitor only to be told he didn’t think of his “friendgirl” in a romantic way.
Relational breakdown
Watching my female…
